Help! I can't see You!

I have been struggeling today and yesterday. In the begginging of this week I was on a really high note with God. I got Him to talk to me. We addressed sin in my life. He answered some sweet prayers and I just felt loved. The last couple of days have been harder. I have seen His love in chapel convicting me of sin and I am feeling helpless by the way because I don't know what to do about the sin. I can't seem to stop. I am hungery for men and love. Or I =should say love and worth and I figure I will get that need met if a guy thinks I am beautiful. God has really been answering a lot of p[rayers but He has been a jerk today too. I wanted to sleep 30 min. longer because I am exausted. I felt like He was not happy so I couldn't sleeop any longer and I am angery because there was not a good resin for it thast I saw. We did nothing this mornign. He said YOU MUST READ! But I could not because i could not keep my eyes open. Then I could nto study in chapel and it ould not have helped any way because I did bad on the test. Also I couldn't eat this and I can't do my homework because God is not happy and HE is playing games again. Stop doing that do what I want you to do. I'm not gonna tell you what I want figure it out for yourself. I feel like I am the adult pampering God and placating Him so I can get my work done/do what I want.

Ok so I realize that this is not God but I don't know if He really told me these things or not and it really does nto mattwer because my body reacts so stringly that unless I know for a fact that GOd did nto sya these things nothing gets done I am miserab;le and fear increases until God comes and gets me again. How do I know I am pleasing God? HE did let me sit with Jen and she did pay attention todya but I runed because God wanted me to pay attentio and not study during chapel. i rebelled and then she started studying.

GOD is looking a lot like mom right now and I don't know what HE is reallly doing but I can't skleep until I know He is happy.

I am choosing to remain faithful because God is faithful. I can't see butr I choose the truth this will break. I am not willfully sinning in fact I can't tell what sin I am commiting but I am tired of the pattern of GOd loves me Hwe loves me not based on my oerformance god faithfully loves me due to Jesus I just don't know how that is played out in my life.